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Happiness means different things to different people, so finding true happiness is a personal journey. There are qualities that we hold in common, however. Happiness is often described as feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment.
Misconceptions About Happiness
In our society, most people have been brought up to believe certain things or accomplishments will bring happiness. Getting the new car, the lovely home, climbing the career ladder, and having a robust bank account are a few of the things many strive for in an effort to feel happy.
As it turns out, we’re not good predictors of what makes us happy in the long run! When we first get the car, house, promotion, raise, we feel happy. But that happiness doesn’t last over time. This is known as the Arrival Fallacy. It’s the false assumption that once you reach a goal you’ll experience long term happiness.
But as both research and spiritual teachers tell us: Nothing outside of yourself will bring you lasting happiness.
Finding true happiness doesn’t lie in external “things,” and grand achievements. They don’t bring true and lasting joy. They are fleeting. Unfortunately, the attainment of the external goals are still being taught by some as the path to happiness, even over qualities like being loving, caring for others and being fair. We are seeing the results of this in our society as increased anxiety, stress and bullying.
What does create happiness within us
It’s important to take ownership of your happiness. Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, writes that we can shift feelings of powerlessness and victimhood by becoming aware of our power in the present moment. You are responsible for your own inner space in each moment.
In her book Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff writes that ownership of your happiness includes changing how you respond to circumstances. Instead of complaining, feeling shame or blaming others, you can choose to respond in a way that expands you and creates more peace and well-being. Look for the hidden gems in what seems like an annoyance or a challenging situation. Once you make that decision you take back your power.
Focus on the Process Not the End Goal
To find true happiness, look each day to the small “wins” that you achieve. Celebrate those wins! Your brain likes to feel progress. Waiting to recognize and celebrate until the long-term goal has arrived is too long. The goal is in the future and your life is right now, in the present. Focussing on the process has been found to be more satisfying than reaching the goal!
Mindfulness is a Great Tool for Creating Happiness
A study in 2021 found that people who practice mindfulness experience a greater sense of purpose in life and engage in activities that bring them happiness. Mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep breathing bring you into the present moment. People who meditate also experience greater levels of self-compassion and compassion toward others.
Let Go
We all experience small annoyances. Instead of letting them bother you, let them go and focus on the simple pleasures of life. What do you already have that you are grateful for? What is around you that you appreciate—such as the beauty of nature, a loving relationship, music you enjoy, good friends you have fun with, books you love, a hobby you enjoy. Turn your thinking to the positives in your life.
Meaningful Relationships
Cultivate meaningful relationships and connections with people you enjoy. Also let go of people who bring negativity into your life. As you interact with and focus on people who are uplifting, those negative people may start to drift away other own.
Signs of Happiness:
- Feeling you’re living life with a sense of meaning and purpose.
- Positive, healthy relationships with others
- A feeling of satisfaction with your life.
- Being open to new ideas and experiences
- Being in gratitude
- Feeling more positive than negative
- Positive self-talk (kindness to yourself)
- Being in the higher flow of life and willing to take it as it comes
- Wanting to share your happiness with others
- The feeling you’re living the life you wanted
- Practicing self-care and treating yourself with kindness
In Conclusion
We all experience both positive and negative emotions and moods. Happiness means we experience more of the positive and less of the negative. No one lives in a constant state of elation. If you’ve cultivated a sense of happiness, however, even when something goes wrong, you have the resilience to bounce back quickly.
