Society has long measured success in life by income and status. Many people choose these standards as their measure of success, then wonder why they feel unfulfilled. Many well-intentioned parents encourage their children to follow this path.
But is that the goal of the young person starting out in life? Is it the goal of an older person who has worked for years at a job that isn’t fulfilling in order to live for weekends and vacations? This is not to say you can’t make money doing what fulfills you. It’s about making choices based on what you feel drawn to, rather than how much it pays or what others think is the best path for you.
Scientists have found that the drive for perfectionism, especially when it is driven by the standards of others, leads to burn-out, depression and a lack of experienced meaning. This is especially true when the person is seeking the approval of others.
Purpose and well-being come through self-determined goals. It’s about doing what you find both meaningful and enjoyable.
It’s important for each person to look within and determine what is most important to them. What brings you delight and fulfillment? Then have the courage to follow the calling of your heart, even if that disappoints someone else in your life. It’s YOUR life and you are the only one who can live it.
Living according to the expectations of others, no matter how well-intentioned, is not what you are here to do.
This story illustrates just how powerful measuring success by being fulfilled can be:
It’s actually quite a dramatic story about a young man who had a natural and cultivated talent for the cello. He had worked hard with the cello to develop his natural skill and was very talented.
He loved music and wanted to play the cello professionally in an orchestra. His parents, however, didn’t feel that was a suitable occupation and insisted he obtain an engineering degree. He did as his parents wished, and graduated with honors.
He was an excellent engineer and mathematician and made a good living. However, he was never fulfilled. Then, in his late 30’s he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Faced with this news, he decided that, for the time he had left, he might as well do what he loved. He left his job as an engineer and began playing the cello with an orchestra. Time passed and he had a miraculous recovery that his doctors couldn’t explain!
Trying to live up to other’s expectations can literally make you sick!
Think about our culture just 50 years ago. The norms of the world at large are always changing. We have a very different society than we used to.
Being true to your own natural talents and passions is a better guide to your happiness and fulfillment. It’s also the guide to your spiritual growth.
Commit to getting quiet at least once a day and listen within.
Breathe deeply for a few breaths and relax your body. Ask for guidance about your path or career. You may or may not get a message, but you may feel a sense of peace. Ideas may occur to you that wouldn’t in the hustle and bustle of life. When you take a little time to get quiet you can connect with your Higher Self.
When you are living according to your purpose, you feel more alive and joyful. Your vibration is higher and you attract all good things to you. Life isn’t about struggling and working hard. When you allow yourself to feel good, life unfolds with ease.
So how do you measure success?
Rather than go for the “perfect life” allow yourself —and others—to have a fulfilled life. Explore what you love to do and what skills you enjoy using. What is that thing that lights you up? What did you dream about as a child? What’s really important to you? Then gradually try some of these things on. How does it feel? Your fulfilled life will feel extraordinary!
Need help sorting this out? Schedule your complimentary Life Purpose Strategy Session here.
