Life throws challenges our way. It doesn’t mean you’ve taken a wrong turn. It’s a part of life that we can either let overwhelm us or grow from. We cultivate resilience by finding ways to adapt to a new situation. Having a good grounding in resilience skills can help us to get through difficulties with more ease.
Emotional resilience is about more than recovering from challenges—it’s about thriving in the face of those challenges.”
Tchiki Davis, Ph.D
What are the skills needed to cultivate resilience?
There are many ways to develop more ability to “bounce back.” Here are a few suggestions. Decide which suggestions resonate most with you and put them into practice.
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Rather than try to jump right to a solution, take time to feel your feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them. Trying to ignore them or gloss over them only creates more negativity. The only way to allow them to dissipate is to spend time with them and send love to them. If you need to cry, do so. Crying releases negative chemicals from the body and relieves stress.
2. Look for the good in a situation you see as bad.
Is there a hidden gem in the situation? What are you learning from this challenge? What new ideas and directions can it spark? Be flexible with your thinking. Many challenges are there to give you the opportunity to create better things in your life.
Ex: When my husband was let go from a job, we were both upset and angry. But he had been so stressed by that job that I was worried about his health. After taking some time to “de-compress” he started his own business in a field he enjoys and is much happier and healthier!
3. Tune in to your Higher Self
Self-reflection, meditation, being in nature, journaling your feelings, prayer or other ways you experience your spirituality are healing to the mind and emotions. Give yourself the space to step back and see the broader perspective. Getting quiet can open you up to your higher guidance.
4. Avoid ruminating about the past
The past is gone. Putting you attention there keeps it with you and doesn’t allow you to move forward. It closes off any inspired ideas or synchronicities that could help you to bounce back to something even better than before. Instead, be forward thinking. How would you like your life to look? How would you like to feel? Who would you like to be with? Daydream about the future you want.
5. Be loving and compassionate to yourself
Take some time to nurture yourself. What things do you do that feel like self love? Treat yourself to a spa day or even a long soak in a bubble bath. Listen to soothing music. Take a 20 minute power nap every day. Watch a funny movie and laugh! Make sure you are eating well and getting enough sleep.
Say to yourself: “ I love and accept myself. All is well!” You might not believe it at first, but keep going! You can change it to “I choose to love and accept myself ” if that feels better. A mantra like this will direct your focus in a positive way.
6. Be physically active
Exercise relieves muscle tension and increases blood flow to the brain. It burns off stress hormones and stimulates “feel good” hormones, creating a sense of well-being. Choose a form of exercise you enjoy. You can learn more about how exercise helps your mood and how to approach it here.
7. Practice Gratitude
When things have taken an unexpected turn, it’s important to look at what you still have to be grateful for. There is always something to be grateful for. A day of great weather, your ability to read, music you like, a friend who supports you, a great walk, your children, your pet, a supportive sibling….Gratitude is a high vibration and reminds you that there are good things that you’ve created in your life.
8. Get support
Ask for help. It can come from a friend, relative, a coach or a counselor. It helps to talk things out. You may discover a perspective you hadn’t thought of before on your own.
