One of the most important assets to success in life is having a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset.

What is the difference between a fixed mindset and having a growth mindset?

If someone has a fixed mindset, they believe that talents, intelligence and character are finite. They think that what you have is all you’ll ever have. If you fail, you’re just not enough. The fear of failure can stop you from stepping outside your comfort zone and to stick with what you’re good at.

By contrast, someone who has a growth mindset believes that as we go through life having experiences, we can expand our knowledge, talents and thinking. They believe that even if they struggle with certain skills they can improve their abilities with practice, focus and help from others.

People with a growth mindset thrive on a challenge.

Failure doesn’t bother them, as they don’t see it as an end result. Instead, they see it as a launching off place to further explore, learn and expand. They keep going and understand that failure doesn’t mean they’re not good enough. It’s simply that they haven’t gotten to where they want to be yet. They understand it may take some time and persistence to get to what they want.

Dr. Carol Dweck of Stanford University first talked about the power of mindset nearly 30 years ago:

“This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments, everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

Dr. Carol Dweck

Here are tips for cultivating a growth mindset:

1. As you listen to your internal dialogue, what do you hear?

Are you telling yourself, “I’m no good at this” or “That person is just naturally talented”? If so, start changing your internal talk. You could say, “I can become good at this with help and practice” or “That person clearly must have persisted to become so talented.” This will start giving your brain a different message.

2. Replace the word “failing” with “learning.”

Start viewing failure not as a sign of inability, but as a part of the process of learning. Failing is just a new way of learning. Use “failures” as an opportunity to assess where you made mistakes and what you can do differently next time. What went right and what needs to be changed? What have you learned? By embracing failure as an opportunity to continue learning and growing, you’ll be on your way to understanding what a growth mindset is really all about.

3. Use the word “Yet” more often.

This is one of Dr. Dwecks main points. When we add “yet” to a phrase it allows us to understand that we are in a process. We can still grow and get better at what we want to do. So change, “I’m not good at this” to “I’m not good at this yet.” That one simple word implies you will be good at it as you continue to put in the practice.

4. Ask for help.

We all need help at times, especially with something that we find challenging. Think about who is good at doing what you’d like to do and see if they will mentor you. Your mentor can give you constructive feedback along the way.

5. Stop seeking approval from outside yourself.

When you seek approval from other people, it means you’re focusing on achievement rather than the process of learning and growing. Comparing yourself to others, focusing on how you look to others, and hiding failures all hold you back from developing a growth mindset, and finding success. Keep focusing on yourself and how you can grow, and stop worrying if others are looking at your progress. They probably aren’t.

6. Set realistic goals.

Not everyone can achieve everything! If you are a 5’ 8” 50 year old man, you’ll not get to play in the NFL. What is a realistic goal for you that would bring you joy and satisfaction?

One more thing I’d like to add for parents.

If you want to foster a growth mindset in your children, praise them for their process, not their traits. For example, if your child brings home a great report card, say something like, “Wow, you must have really put in a lot of studying to get such a great report!” rather than “You must be really smart!” This is the same for sports success and artistic achievement.

As you cultivate your growth mindset, you’ll find life more rewarding and more fun!