Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

You’ve gotten clear on what your purpose is and you’re excited about pursuing it! You’re ready to ditch the soul-sucking job and strike out in a new direction.  You share the good news with your spouse and……you hit a brick wall. Your loved one doesn’t support your dreams.

Here are some tips for how to get your spouse on board with your plans:

1.  Be sure you’re clear on what you want and the steps necessary to pursue it.

When you’ve done the research, you can communicate from a clear and emotionally balanced place. Have a plan for the steps you need to take as you transition from your current career to your new one. There are also many ways to try out a new career. You can do informational interviews with people in the field you’re interested in. In some cases there may be volunteer opportunities or opportunities to shadow someone for a day.

2.  Realize that your spouse probably has fears about what this will mean for the family.

Common fears could include financial worries and concerns about less time with you. They may simply be afraid that you’ll fail or end up unhappy with your new direction. Acknowledge your partner’s fears with understanding.

It’s good to have a financial plan in place and you can invite your partner to work on that with you. And don’t do what I did—don’t ditch the job before you’re on solid financial footing! You don’t need to risk your financial well-being. The transition may need to be a very gradual one unless you have enough saved or invested to cushion you. Consult your financial planner for help.

If you’ve done your “homework” you’ll know this is the right direction for you, but your spouse may, indeed, have less time with you. This is a temporary situation that will lead to greater fulfillment for both of you. If you’re happier, the people around you will be too.

Invite your spouse to join you in thinking of all the things that could go right with this change in your life, rather than focusing on what could go wrong. You can have a little “What if UP” fun together!  What if.. (everything worked out beautifully, this was easier than I thought, I made even more money than I do now, etc.)

3. Don’t try to convince your spouse to see your vision.

Convincing will result in an argument. Instead state your needs to your partner. Ex: “The job I have now is causing me stress. I have to drag myself there. It’s affecting my happiness and my well-being. It’s critical that I make a change.”

Notice that the statements are “I” statements. They reflect what you are feeling and needing.

4. The bottom line is: This is your life.

If you don’t do what you were “made for” you won’t find fulfillment in life. If you are living someone else’s idea of success rather than the calling of your heart, you will have regrets. This is your life and you get to live it in the way that you desire. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to make the choices and take the path that feels right for you.

If your spouse or others give you feedback that isn’t in line with what you want for yourself, take the advice of motivational speaker Melanie Robbins. Say “thank you,” and do what you want anyway.