If you think you’re not enough, it may surprise you that you’re not alone. This is one of the most common thoughts that people have. It holds you back from truly experiencing life and from the things you most want. It erodes relationships, careers and abundance.
It starts in childhood as a negative experience. As children, we’re very literal and very absorbent. A tired parent or frustrated teacher may have said something that made you feel unworthy, unlovable or stupid. A friend may have teased you about something that was important to you. Your mind then made a conclusion about you and stored that thought in your subconscious. That thought became a belief about who you are.
So, how do you change these beliefs that aren’t true and are unsupportive to beliefs that do support who you really are?
Don’t believe everything you think!
Just because you have a thought, it doesn’t make it true. Begin to challenge those self-sabotaging thoughts. Here’s a process I use with my clients that mainly comes from “The Work” of Byron Katie:
Write down the belief you hold: “I’m not _______ enough.” (Fill in the blank with what you think you’re not enough of: pretty, smart, courageous, thin, etc.)
1. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” (You may feel that it is true, and that’s okay.)
2. Then ask yourself, “Can I absolutely know, without a doubt that this thought is true?” (Now, when you think deeper, can you really, 100% know this thought is true?)
3. Then ask, “How do I react when I have this thought?” (In other words, How do you feel when you have this thought? And how do you treat yourself and others when you believe this thought?)
4. Ask, “How would I feel without this thought?”
5. And finally ask, “Who would I be without this thought? (How would you live your life differently?” (Really use your imagination here to picture this.)
Now, turn the thought around to come up with a new thought that is as true or truer than the one you started with. This isn’t about fighting with the original “I’m not enough” belief. It’s about finding something genuine that feels better and giving your attention to that.
For example, take the thought, “I’m not smart enough to get this promotion.” How could you turn it around? You might start with remembering the times you did something really well, job related or not. You could focus on the fact that you were smart enough to get the job you have and you’ve now got even more experience. Notice how you feel as you try out the new thoughts. When something feels true and better than you were feeling, put your attention there and enjoy it. See if you can gradually add more thoughts that feel better. As you add more positive thoughts and deliberately focus only on the new, supportive thoughts, you’ll begin to shift your default thinking and feeling.
You may be wondering how I can be so sure you are, indeed, enough. I know you are because everyone is. We all deserve love, happiness, and fulfillment. Every person is here with a unique purpose and we are all learning, growing and expanding as we go through the journey of this life.
Leave your comment below on how this process went for you! I’d love to hear about your experience.
