Do you have that little voice in your head telling you you’re not enough? It says things like, “You’re not smart enough, outgoing enough, thin enough, attractive enough, creative enough, lovable enough, hardworking enough.”
That voice tells you that in some way you just aren’t enough to have what you want in life, whether its the relationship, health, dream job or financial abundance that you’d like.
If you begin to notice your self-talk throughout the day, you’ll find it is mostly negative. And what it’s telling you isn’t true. It’s the result of beliefs that were formed from what you heard as a child from a parent, teacher, sibling or other significant person in your life.
Most people are held back from believing in themselves—and from loving themselves—by what self-love advocate Christine Arylo calls the Inner Mean Girl or Guy. The IMG is that part of you that internalized those statements and became your self-talk. You believe that self-talk, rather than in who you really are. The IMG beckons you to compare yourself to others that you think are smarter, more attractive or more successful. And when you judge yourself as not measuring up, it piles on the criticism.
How to send the IMG packing:
1. Give your Inner Mean Girl or Guy a name that holds a bit of humor, such as Meanie Mary or Loveless Louie. This separates it from you and allows you to step away from it. You begin to see it as the stream of unsupportive comments that you can choose to not participate in.
2. Ask your IMG what it is trying to do for you. Surprisingly, very often that voice is trying to keep you safe. But, it’s doing so by keeping you small, fearful and doubting yourself. Thank your IMG for trying to help, but be clear that if it doesn’t have anything constructive to say, you’re not listening. Some people have even held “retirement parties” for their IMG and sent them off on a jet to a tropical island. Use your imagination and have fun with this!
Another way to let go of the negative beliefs is to practice self-love and self- forgiveness.
Here are two exercises to help you:
- Place your hand on your heart and address yourself like you were speaking to a small child.
For example, say, “I love the one who is afraid.” “I love the one who is struggling.” “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.” You deserve to be loved, no matter what.
2. Mirror Exercise:
Stand in front of a mirror and say these sentences with at least 5 different endings every day for 28 consecutive days. This may feel silly at first, but keep going! It gets easier.
[Your Name] I love you. I really love you.
[Your Name] I’m proud that you………
[Your Name] I forgive you for………
[Your Name] I commit to you that………
By putting these exercises into practice, you’ll find your doubts dissolving and your belief in yourself surging!
If you need more help in releasing the IMG and loving yourself, sign up for a complimentary strategy session!
