When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. – Ellen DeGeneres
Fear of failure stops us before we’ve even begun. It robs us of our dreams and opportunities.
Our brains are hardwired to be alert to threats in order to stay alive. In modern times we don’t have to be constantly on the alert for huge predators wanting to eat us. However, fear of failure is interpreted by our brain as a threat to our survival. It will trigger the fight, flight or freeze response in the brain. So, rather than taking up the opportunity that scares us, we flee from it or freeze in place.
What can we do to move out of this situation and start living the lives we want? Here are some tips:
1. Question Your Thoughts.
Fear comes from what we are thinking, and most people are primarily thinking negative thoughts. So pay attention to what thoughts come up for you when you consider going for your dream job, starting to write that novel or whatever else you want to create in your life.
Just because you have a thought, it doesn’t make it true. One of the most common thoughts that holds people back is the thought of, “I’m not enough.” Where did that thought come from? Is it really true? Can you absolutely know it’s true? Think how you act when you have that thought. Now, think how it would feel if you didn’t have that thought.
Most of our thoughts were downloaded into us at a young age and are not our own. They come from comments people made to us, or experiences we had and interpreted from the very literal mind of a young child. Our subconscious mind, where our thoughts are stored, is also very literal. By challenging the thoughts that don’t serve you and intentionally replacing them with new thoughts that do, you can form new neural pathways and new default thoughts.
“There is no failure. Only feedback.” — Robert Allen
2. Reframe failure.
There is no failure, only learning opportunities. Without failure you don’t grow because you’re not taking the risks that help you figure out what works. Failure is an essential part of the journey of life. When you start to see it that way it becomes less of a monster and more of a wise teacher. Experiencing an outcome that you don’t like or want doesn’t make YOU a failure. It’s simply an event along the way. Use what you’ve learned and keep going.
[tweetthis]Reframing what you consider failure can help you conquer your fear of failing. [/tweetthis]
3. Get to the heart of what you’re really afraid of.
It’s often not failure itself that scares us. It’s what failure leads to. We think we might be humiliated, or be rejected, or we might loose all our money and be homeless. Once you’re clear on what the real problem is, you’re empowered to take steps to deal directly with the issue.
For example, If you want to start a business, but are afraid of failing, work on the steps to building your business while still at the job that’s paying the bills. Make the jump when you know you’ve got a solid foundation for your business in place.
4. Break your dreams down into small steps.
When you think of what you want to create as one big whole, it can be overwhelming and feed your fear. Instead, begin by breaking your end goal down into the steps you need to reach it. By breaking it down into small steps, it feels more doable and you can celebrate along the way, each time you complete a step.
By facing your fears head on, you put yourself in a position to deal with them in a pro-active way and move ahead in your life.
If you’d like help overcoming your fears and moving into your purposeful life, I’d be happy to speak with you! Schedule your free Life Purpose Strategy Session here.
