“Don’t believe everything you think.” ~Byron Katie

We have about 60,000 thoughts per day. 95% of those thoughts are habitual, and of those habitual thoughts, about 80% are negative. That means most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts a day. Yikes! Since we know from the Law of Attraction that we create what we put most of our attention on, it’s no wonder that we can look around at our lives and not always like what we see.

Most of the time we are not even paying attention to our thinking–we engage in “sloppy thinking”. Then, not liking what we are experiencing, we argue against it, wishing our reality was different from what it is. The flaw in that, is that the more we argue against it, the more we erode our happiness and keep the things we don’t like stuck to us like glue.

Some thoughts the untended mind will offer us may be:

People shouldn’t………… (you fill in the blank)
My neighbors should be (more respectful, quieter, etc)
It isn’t fair that………
I should…….
My husband (or wife) should love me more (bring me flowers, remember our anniversary, help me more…..)
My children should…….
My life is horrible…..
I don’t deserve……

You get the idea. All of these thoughts involve judgements and blame about self or others. Do they make you feel happy? In a moment of inspired clarity, a woman named Byron Katie realized a simple yet profound truth: It isn’t our situations that make us miserable, it’s our thoughts about our situations that cause the unhappiness.

When you believe your thoughts you give up your power to things outside of yourself. When you question the truth of your thoughts you can make profound shifts in your life and in your level of happiness. Thinking the thoughts listed above will keep you in a state of feeling like a victim. You think if other people or things would just be different, you could be happy. The problem is, you have no control over other people. The only thing you do have control over is your own thinking. Challenging the thoughts you have is the key to freeing yourself from false beliefs that don’t serve you.

People say to me, “But if I just accept my reality, how will it ever change?” I’m not talking about being passive. I’m talking about taking responsibility for the lessons and gifts the people and situations in your life offer, beginning with questioning the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Is it really true, what you are thinking? It may seem so, but dig further. Everything happens for our growth and higher good. Say you lost your biggest client. You could think thoughts like, “He shouldn’t have gone with that other firm when I have been bending over backwards to be of service.” How does arguing with the reality of his leaving help you? How does it feel? Instead, question the truth of that, and ask yourself a more productive question such as, “How do I now go about finding clients that are a better match to my services?” By accepting the situation and turning your thoughts to productive questions, you grow.  Every time you argue with reality, it hurts.

As Katie says, “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”

You can find out more about Katie’s process of inquiry, which she calls “The Work” in her book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, available at
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9762.Loving_What_Is