The issue of self-worth is one that a vast majority of people struggle with. It is the internal feeling of being good enough and being worthy of love and belonging. When you have good self-worth, you value yourself. Nurturing self-worth is important to your overall well-being and happiness in life. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors are tied to how you see yourself.
What determines self-worth?
Many people rely on outside achievements, their appearance or how much money they make. For people still in school, grades can show up as a measure of worth. Some base their worth on how many friends they have, other people’s opinions, or how many social media followers they have.. Others may base it on what kind of job the have. These are not indicators of worth! Nothing outside of yourself is an indicator of your worth.
True self worth is about internal factors. It’s about kindness, compassion and empathy. It’s about how you treat others–and yourself!
How do you nurture self -worth?
The truth is that we are all part of the “all -that-is” and as such, we are worthy. Just by being ourselves, we are worthy. There is nothing to prove and it is not necessary to do anything or refrain from doing anything to earn our worth, or our value in the Universe.
When we are not in touch with our worth we create a life that reflects that back to us. By the Law of Attraction, if we think thoughts of unworthiness, we attract more thoughts like it and experiences that provide us with evidence of it. We literally repel the things we want.
Our Inner Beings or Souls already know our infinite value, our absolute worth. The pain we feel as we stew in thoughts of unworthiness is because of the misalignment with that higher part of ourselves. When we feel small, we stop ourselves from fulfilling our purpose and taking the risk to do what we love. Not only do we loose out, but the people who might be served by our light don’t get the opportunity to benefit from it. So what can we do about it?
Checking in with your self-talk on a regular basis is important. When you find yourself feeling self-critical or wondering if you’re good enough, realize that is just coming from old programs you’ve picked up from your upbringing and societal messages.
Here are some questions to ask yourself when the inner critic raises it’s head:
- How do I feel thinking that thought?
- Is it really true?
- Is this thought loving to myself?
Thoughts coming from our Higher Selves are always loving and it is through love that we grow as individuals and as a society.
Next, simply replace the lower thought with a higher, loving one. It is important to get into the feeling of that new thought, not just say it. Take the time to really stop and feel it, sometimes even putting your hand on your heart to really physically lock it in.
So, for a personal example, a thought may come up that I’m not focused enough and I don’t get all the things done that I “should”. That thought certainly makes me feel bad about myself and tends to paralyze me even more! Notice the Law of Attraction matching that vibration! Is that really true that I don’t get done all that I should? How much is that anyway? Is the cup half empty or half full? Wouldn’t it feel better to look at what I have accomplished and feel good about that? Ah–now we’re on to a better feeling thought.
A simple affirmation of how good I feel about what I have done so far feels better. Now I can go even farther and affirm that I have enough time to do everything I want to do and it all gets done at the perfect time and in the perfect way. Everything is working out perfectly. And at that I have shifted.
Also take a moment to appreciate all the things you’re good at. Perhaps you’re a good friend. What talents do you have that you really enjoy? Remember that your value is based on how YOU alone feel about yourself. It has nothing to do with fulfilling other people’s expectations of who you “should” be.
Ramp up your self-love and acceptance
Commit to being more loving and accepting of yourself.
Here are some statements that help to solidify your self-worth:
- I feel valued and special.
- I deeply love and appreciate myself.
- I love myself unconditionally.
- I accept mistakes as opportunities to learn valuable lessons.
- I am a worthy and capable person.
As a closing note, Louise Hay had an affirmation, “I approve of myself.” She recommended saying it 400 times a day! You don’t have to count–just say it a lot throughout the day. Inevitably, the inner critic will come up to tell you all the negative messages it has in response to this thought. That is your opportunity to gently say, “I release this thought.” Then continue with approving of yourself. She said this exercise was when she really started to make progress.
As always, I’m here to help of you need support. Just schedule your free Life Purpose Strategy session here, or contact me with a question.
