The problem with thinking ‘I’ll be happy when..”, is that we attach being happy to something in the future. It’s the same as making a declaration that, “I am not happy now.” Since the universe always matches us right where we are, it’s easy to see that those things we think will make us happy are going to stay in the future. And studies have shown that we humans are not very good at predicting what will make us happy. If, through sheer effort of will we do get what we think we want, we experience either only brief happiness or actual disappointment. The stuff we want just doesn’t do the job of creating happiness. But we soldier on, trying to manipulate the outside environment, thinking that the next bright shiny object will do the trick. It doesn’t. True happiness is an inside job, and we create it in the only moment we can–NOW.

So, how do we create happiness? In her book, Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff addresses seven areas in our lives where we can raise our happiness level. For each of those areas she offers three happiness habits that can be practiced to actually re-set our happiness “set-point” to a higher level. Like any new skill, these habits need to be practiced in order to produce a result. As you practice these new habits and discover happiness within you, you raise your vibration. When you are operating at a higher vibrational level you then become a match to the things you want. Now, when you receive them you’ll truly be able to enjoy them, because the are simply the icing on the cake. The real happiness is being generated from within.

Rhonda Byrne, creator of “The Secret” wrote…
“I want to let you in on a secret to ‘The Secret.’ The shortcut to anything you want in your life is to BE and FEEL happy now! It is the fastest way to bring money and anything else you want into your life.”

If you have been putting the cart before the horse, thinking that you’ll be happy when…. and want to change that around in your life, I invite you to join me May 15 at 8:30 PM EDT or May 17th at 3:00 PM EDT for a free Happiness Tribe webinar that will cover the principles in Marci’s book. Learn how to be happy NO MATTER WHAT is going on in your life and experience an authentic state of sustained happiness! You can register for the webinar at:  HappinessWebinar

Everything that we attract into our lives has a higher purpose. When that purpose is fulfilled, we need to let go in order to make room for our next stage of growth and expansion. Holding on to things that we no longer need is a form of lack thinking and fear. I remember a comedy routine by George Carlin many years ago about how people relate to leftovers in the refrigerator. They open the door, look at the leftovers, realize they are spoiled and then put them back in the refrigerator. Of course he acted this out in a very funny way, but as I was laughing hysterically, I realized that he was absolutely right! We hold on to things long after the life has gone out of them.

Those things we hold on to past their purpose act as energetic roadblocks to our growth and to new opportunities, insights and success. Energy is always in motion. In order for the new to come into your life, you must recognize what things are no longer serving you and release them. Doing this is an act of faith in the abundance of the universe and your own ability to allow abundance.

Releasing What No Longer Serves
Ask yourself what you might be holding on to that no longer serves a purpose. You can tell what those things are because they have lost their sense of aliveness or meaning. Even clearing out clothes you haven’t worn in the past year or longer can be a clearing of old energy that allows the new to come in. Clear out broken equipment or anything that you aren’t using. Holding on to useless things and activities tells your subconscious that you don’t deserve abundance.

Do you have memories of the past when things didn’t work out well for you? When you think of the past, shift to think only of times when things worked out and you were feeling powerful and creative. If you can’t think of a time like that, use your imagination to re-write your past. Your imagination is a a gift that connects you to your soul.

Relationships that are no longer healthy and serving both people can be released with love, whether it is a romantic relationship, friendship, or business partner. By focusing on what you want in any of these types of relationships from a place of joy, love and well-being, the relationships will either evolve or dissolve. Send love to the person and imagine letting them go. Remember that each relationship you have has a higher purpose. Don’t think that if a relationship dissolves, it is a failure. Go higher and ask what the purpose was. Embrace the growth and understanding that came from it, and allow yourself to be grateful for it.

Take heart–not every relationship needs to be released! When the purpose is to help each other continue to grow and learn, it can last for a lifetime. There are marriages that have lasted for many years and the people in them seem full of life. In those cases they have continued to grow together, exploring new ideas and activities along the way. I’m happy to say my own marriage is one of those!

Holding on to thoughts and feelings that are not in alignment with where you are now keeps you stuck. What images of yourself do you hold that don’t reflect who you really are at the highest level? What fears or worries show up for you when you think of moving ahead in life?

Try this energy exercise to help let go.                                                                                 Get in a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Take a few deep breaths and allow your body to relax. Imagine a beautiful, intelligent light coming to you. You can imagine this in any way you like. See if you can make it even more beautiful. Now, notice where you feel the negative thoughts or feelings in in your body. Send light to those thoughts and feelings. Imagine them being surrounded by this light, and permeated with this light until they become light. Then, on your out-breath, release them to the universe. See them rise up and dissolve. You have changed your thoughts to light. Express thanks to this light and bask in the glow.

If you would like more help in releasing self-sabotaging thoughts at the subconscious level I would recommend techniques such as PSYCH-K and EFT. I am a PSYCH-K facilitator and would be happy to help.

So why are those self-defeating thoughts so sticky? They reside in the subconscious mind, where all our beliefs, both constructive and destructive, are stored. Studies in neuroscience indicate that as much as 95% of our consciousness is subconscious. Most of our beliefs are formed before the age of six, when our brains are in a very receptive state. The subconscious mind is very literal and it is always in the present. So, a belief we were exposed to as a child, whether if serves us now or not, is still with us in the present. Our beliefs determine how we see ourselves and the world, and our perceptions form our behavior. Our behavior influences what we create in our lives.

So, when we consciously set a goal, if we have a subconscious belief that is not in alignment with that goal, it eludes us. We tend to think we are just not trying hard enough. The truth is, we may have a belief that needs to be shifted and the good news is, we can do that.

First, you need to become aware of the thoughts that may be holding you back. Because they are habitual they can be very sneaky. The next time you find yourself with some down time–sitting at a red light, waiting for someone to arrive to a meeting, etc.–notice your thoughts. What comes up? Are there any that you realize are self-defeating or judgmental? This will start to give you clues as to what thought patterns you have that may be standing in your way of what you want in life. If you don’t believe you are deserving, smart enough, outgoing enough, pretty enough, safe enough, and so on, these thoughts will stop your progress.

Next, become more aware of when you are having an habitual thought that doesn’t serve you and do something to interrupt it. You can sing, laugh, or exercise. No beating up on yourself for having this thought! All you want to do is interrupt it. This helps new neural pathways form in your brain. Start questioning your thoughts.  Ask, “Is this really true?”  Flip the thought to one that serves you better. Notice how that feels.  Commit to gently shifting to a better feeling thought each time you notice a thought that doesn’t reflect self-love and empowerment.  With practice and persistence you can gradually start to form new neural pathways, shift those beliefs and change your energy and point of attraction.

There are many helpful modalities to explore for more quickly shifting limiting beliefs, such as EFT and my favorite, PSYCH-K®.  Developed by psychologist Robert Williams, PSYCH-K is based of years of research into split brain theory, or Brain Dominance Theory and offers a variety of ways to quickly identify and shift beliefs you want to change. You can find out more at www.PSYCH-K.com.

Remember a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.  You have the power to change how you think!

When I ask my clients what their vision is for their lives, many of them have no idea. Instead, they begin telling me all about what isn’t working for them. This is understandable. When we are in the midst of experiencing things that we don’t want we’re very much aware of them. They are at the forefront of our attention. We develop habits of thought around those experiences that, by law of attraction, bring more thoughts and circumstances to match the ones we just had. This continues to create more circumstances that we don’t want in our lives.

An exercise I use with my coaching clients in this circumstance is called “Clarity Through Contrast”. Since they are so clear on what they don’t like about their current situation, I have them make a list of all the things that aren’t working. Then, we go back through the list and one at a time, flip each statement of what they don’t want to it’s opposite.
For example:
“My boss never acknowledges my accomplishments or shows me any respect.” We can flip that to “I have a boss that respects me as a person and an employee and values and acknowledges my accomplishments.”

We continue through the list that way, and when they’re done, they have plenty of material for creating their vision of their ideal life. I also have them destroy the list of things they don’t like by shredding it, tearing it up, or safely burning it. A great feeling of liberation results!

Try creating a vision of what you want your life to look like in all areas of life, and picture it in your mind every day. The more you focus on what you do want, with all the delightful feelings of already having it, the quicker you will begin to see evidence of small shifts taking place. When inspired ideas occur to you from this better feeling place, take action! Even the smallest steps will lead you to your goals.

But here is where the mixed messages started. Perhaps seeing that I really was intending to make a career out of this, they began talking about how hard a life a dancer has. They acknowledged that I was good, but that good wasn’t enough in the highly competitive field of dance. A lot of people are good. You had to stand out, to shine! They told me they didn’t think I was aggressive enough–I didn’t push my way forward. They spoke of the sacrifices dancers had to make in order to get ahead. I wouldn’t be able to really have any kind of love life and I wouldn’t have much time off. They had stories of the cutthroat things dancers would do to each other to eliminate the competition. And don’t expect to make any money! They knew of dancers who had to have three roommates just to make ends meet. This barrage of all the reasons why I couldn’t or shouldn’t follow my dream became more and more frequent. A war began to rage within me between my desires and my fears. What my parents had to say disturbed and confused me. Why were they saying these things?

Let me take a moment here to say that my parents truly loved me and I them. It wasn’t out of spite that they began speaking like this. It was out of love and wanting to protect me. Nevertheless, it was raining hard on my parade. It never occurred to me to question if what they were saying was true. My father was a PhD. and I held his opinions in high regard. My mother had always been my confidante. The situation resolved itself by my body breaking down. I not only got arthritis in my big toe, but came down with a very bad and persistent case of mononucleosis which took me out of operation for months. I made the painful decision not to return to the ballet school and instead focus on getting into college.

I share this story, because this happens so often to people with a desire to step out and follow their passions. Well meaning family and friends regale their loved one with all the reasons why they should stay safe within the known boundaries. It can happen at any time in life, not just to young people. The voices from without can clamor so loud that we can’t hear the voice within. We feel the pressure to be what our parents, spouses, or friends want us to be. We don’t want to let them down. We worry that they will not love us if we follow our passions. We begin to doubt our own strength, abilities and resolve. What if they are right and we fail? Better to stay safe, even if there is no real joy there.
Following your passions can involve risk, but it is also deliciously rewarding. There will be challenges, for that’s how we grow, but the solutions will be there as well. When you choose to do what brings you joy, you align with your inner purpose and the way becomes clear.

As Joseph Campbell says: “When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.”

Getting Clear
It is important to be able to hear your own inner voice. Here are some steps to take to get clear on your life’s work and higher purpose and to have the courage to act upon your dreams, no matter what others may want for you.

Realize that we all have a special gift and it will be something that you love to do.
Give yourself the gift of spending time each day in undisturbed quiet. Ask yourself what you love to do. What would you do even if you didn’t get paid for it? What comes naturally to you? What do you enjoy spending time doing?
Trust that the universe is friendly to your plans and is supportive of you.
Send love to those well-meaning people who may not understand your vision. See them surrounded by light and radiate reassurance out to them. Use your imagination for this. It is a great gift!
Get comfortable and quiet. Take a few deep breaths and ask your higher self, or your soul, for help in strengthening your resolve, lighting the way and attracting your life’s work to you. Be open to how your soul might communicate with you–through books, inspired ideas, and feelings. The voice of your soul will always feel like love. Practice calling your soul to you daily.
Understand that your life is YOURS! No one else can live it for you. When you choose your path of joy, all else will fall into place.

Would I have made it as a dancer? Quite possibly. Was that my life’s work? It may have been for a time; but no experience is ever wasted, and everything we do contains the seeds of our highest path and purpose. All of our experiences shape who we are and I am grateful for all of mine. That experience may have happened so that I could be sitting here, loving my life as a coach, sharing this with you now.

During the storm I received an email from a client who had decided to use the time stuck at home to catch up on billing her clients. The only problem was, she just couldn’t make herself sit down and do it. She kept finding all sorts of other things to fiddle with, so she asked if I had any words of wisdom to help her.

Procrastinating, especially for those tasks that don’t rank high on your list of passions, can be a challenge! I gave her a couple of quick tips that I thought I’d pass long here.

1. I asked her to get in touch with how she was thinking about the billing task. Where was the resistance? Perhaps–It’s tedious, boring, hard–or all of the above? Then I asked her to think how she could shift her thinking into the positives of this task to soften her resistance. For example: “Isn’t it great that I have clients to bill?”
“Once I get the billing done I can look forward to the flow of money coming to me!” Picture the task done, get into the feeling of accomplishment or whatever feeling you expect to have upon completion. Imagine a nice full bank account!

2. Think of ways to make the task more enjoyable, such as putting on beautiful background music, and settling in with a nice cup of tea, coffee, or hot cocoa. Perhaps set up a reward for when the task is completed, such as a good movie.

3. The Five Minute Method: This is a great technique for when you just can’t seem to shift out of resistance to a task. Tell yourself you will commit to doing it for only five minutes. Set a timer. At that time, you get to take a break for ten minutes. Then commit to another five minutes. Most of us can do anything for just five minutes. Knowing you don’t have to force yourself through hours of tedious work will lessen the resistance and allow you focus in. At the five minute mark, assess how you feel. Do you want the break, or are you now on a roll? Either choice is fine. I usually find, however, that the most resistance is at the beginning, and once I’m into a task I like to keep going. It is still important to stop and assess how you feel at regular intervals, however. When you overwork at a task and don’t give your body the movement, hydration, or other break it needs, this reinforces the feeling of the task being monumental and difficult. Stop before you are mentally exhausted, even if it’s not all completed. Celebrate your progress!

I don’t think we’ll find ourselves stuck inside during snowstorms too often at this point in the year, but hopefully this will help with those necessary yet unpleasant tasks that you just can’t seem to settle down to do. Ready for joyful tax preparation, anyone?

I just read one of the most fascinating self-help books this year, and wanted to write a short review of it. I skimmed over new Amazon Kindle titles in the Self-help category, and the unusual title “The Happiness Hop” caught my eye. The cover of the book was enticing too. So, I decided to check it out.

The first pages were pretty interesting. Suddenly something extraordinary happened, and I just couldn’t stop reading.

What’s the book about? I won’t reveal too much here, you really need to check the book out yourself. All I can say that if you’re interested in living a more fulfilling life and finding and living out your unique purpose, do read The Happiness Hop. The book is very enjoyable, it is captivating and inspiring. And helps me to remember…

Below is one of my favorite passages of the book:

“Gaining insight into your purpose in life gives you strength. A person who has fully grasped his purpose is strong and able to endure a great deal of pressure because he has gained a sharper view of the world. He sees everything with increased clarity. As Jung once put it, “Purpose and meaning make a lot, if not everything, bearable.” Despite suffering, disease and hardships, one can seek to fulfill one’s purpose – each according to his own ability. In the words of the philosopher Nietzsche, ‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.’”

THE HAPPINESS HOP has a unique approach of combining non-fiction and fiction into a conversation between Everyman and a wise mentor. It discusses profound themes with humor, enlightening stories and astonishing elements. As Tim Pond says: “Don’t look for happiness; look for purpose.”

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To check out The Happiness Hop and to claim your marvelous bonus gifts now, visit

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In her book Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love, Marci Shimoff talks about the difference between “love for good reason” and “love for no reason”. She states:

“Love for good reason has some limitations. The main problem is that its linked to reasons, and if those reasons change, your love usually changes too……you may feel attached, jealous, afraid of loosing the object of your love, or you may feel satisfied but still there’s something missing. …..Love for no reason is Higher Love, an inner state of pure love that doesn’t depend on other people, external conditions or circumstances.
When you love for no reason you bring love to your outer experiences rather than try to extract love from them.”

Unconditional love is an expansive, all-encompassing love that lies within each of us. It’s our connection to Source. When we know how to generate love from within, we don’t rely on love to come to us from an outside source. We live from a place of love that we can tap into at all times and radiate out to others.

Achieving a state of unconditional love begins with loving yourself.
Too often we fail to honor ourselves and tune in to what we need. Being giving and helpful to people is a good thing and opens the heart. But think for a moment. If we don’t stop to recharge our own batteries, what do we really have to give? I like to use the analogy of the flight attendants on an airplane. When they make their announcement regarding the oxygen masks they instruct passengers with children to put their own masks on before assisting the children. If the adult passes out from lack of oxygen, who will help the children?

To start practicing self love try this.
Several times a day stop what you are doing and ask yourself:

1. “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Then listen for the answer. What comes to mind?

2. Then actually follow through and do it! Excuses may come up. But what you will find when you choose to do what feels best in the moment, is that you will be energized and actually accomplish more with less effort. Taking a walk break for 10 minutes, for example, can clear your head, get your heart pumping and blood moving. You will come back to your task with inspired ideas!

Another practice is to tune into your feelings. Are you feeling stressed, worried, fearful?
1. Acknowledge your feelings–don’t judge them. Allow yourself to feel them fully. They are there to let you know you are moving away from your vision of what you want. They are your internal guidance system. When you are feeling stressed, you shut down the flow of love and life force energy that wants to flow through you.
2. Now stop, and take several slow, deep breaths. Imagine the feelings slowly easing out of your body. See them dissipate like fog burning away when the sun comes out.

Giving and receiving both open your heart.
When we do acts of kindness for others we allow love to flow through us. It’s not necessary to do huge things for hundreds of people. Simply paying attention to the people around you can do so much to bring light to the world and open your own heart. Think of your family or your neighbors. Tell then how much you appreciate them! It can come as a pleasant unexpected surprise. What acts of kindness can you perform? Even smiling at a stranger can change a life! You never know what someone else may be going through that a small act of connection and kindness can affect.

Being able to receive from others is also a way to keep your heart open and love flowing through you. Often we have trouble receiving from others due to beliefs we hold that it is better to give than receive, or we simply don’t think we are deserving. Those are just beliefs and beliefs can change! If someone is trying to give you something and you won’t receive it, how do you think that makes them feel? Giving and receiving is an energy exchange that must be completed in order for both people to feel good. Receiving is actually an act of kindness to the one who desires to give. Next time someone pays you a compliment or offers you help or a gift, try simply saying a heartfelt “Thanks” You will both feel the flow of love.

Live with a sense of gratitude.
Focusing on what is going right rather than what is going wrong will shift your mood and actually shift what is happening in your life. Make it a practice to write down five things you are grateful for each day. Remember that everything is FOR us. We grow from the experiences that were not so pleasant at the time. They help us to refine what we really want to be, do and have and cause us to look more deeply for answers. So also acknowledge the pesky people and hard times in your gratitude!

Connect with something larger than yourself.
We all need to decide if we consider the universe as friendly or hostile. Allow yourself to feel the oneness with all things. The universe is friendly to your plans and is based on love. When you connect to spirit through meditation, being in nature, listening to soothing music, or though prayer you experience that higher love that is your deep wellspring of support.

There are many ways to experience unconditional love and the benefits are tremendous. Living from an open heart boosts your immune system and creates better relationships. When you are able to practice unconditional love, you can feel love no matter what is going on in your life.

Here is one area you might explore

When you get together with friends or even when you listen to the self-talk in your own head, what story do you notice you are telling about your life or circumstances?  Are you focused on your clear, bright vision of your ideal life?  Are you feeling it and speaking of it as though it is already here?  Are you feeling the essence of why you want it?
Or–are you rehashing the past or stressing about the future?  Are you complaining, coming up with all the reasons why you can’t have what you want?  Do you subscribe to the misery loves company club?  When people ask how you are, what do you tell them? 

Chances are, it’s some combination of both.  The more you tell the story of lack, however, the S…L…O…W….E…R your manifestation will be in arriving.  If you listen to most conversations, people are chatting away about who did what to whom and how bad the economy is, how the government is corrupt and what awful thing their neighbor (spouse, mother, sibling, etc.) just did.  Sometimes it feels that in order to fit in, we need to be telling our tale of woe.  Don’t fall for it!  Where you choose to place your attention will determine what you are a vibrational match to.  You can be the example and set the tone.

And here’s another interesting fact:  Scientist have discovered that just five minutes of complaining will lower your immune system for the next six hours!
So What Can You Do?

It can be a challenge to speak as if you have already manifested something that is not here yet–especially the dream career or business, your ideal life.  The key here is remember the essence of why you want it.  How do you expect to feel when it is here in all it’s glory?  Sit with that in a quiet time and really get touch with that feeling.  Do you think you will feel a sense of aliveness, freedom, self-esteem?  Have you ever felt that way in your life before?  Remember that feeling and bring it into your body.  Where do you feel it?  What are some things you could do right now to create that feeling?  WHY do you want it?  What function will it serve in your life?  Can your needs be met in some other way?  Be open to how what you want will come to you.

When you practice getting into vibrational alignment with how you expect to feel–like you are “wearing” the vibration of what you want, then your manifestation will  happen more quickly.   Daily practice is key.   With practice, you will be able to bring that feeling up in an instant, no matter what else is going on around you.  And when people ask you how you are doing, you can honestly answer from that practiced place of feeling.  When they ask, “How’s business?” you can say, “It’s getting better and better!”

If you’ve had enough of plodding along year after year and you want to improve yourself and your health to make this your BEST ever year, then you need to go here: http://healthywealthywisegifts.com/go/736

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